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Is it Normal Behavior for Men, Young or Old to Look at Pornography?

The reasons I approach this subject are multiple. Not only have I heard of people, especially parents, say “It is normal for young men to do it”, but I heard of one man that said, “all men look at pornography.” Both are false. It is not normal behavior and not all men look at pornography. Let me explain a truth that some people do not understand. There is a difference between “seeing” and “looking.” We all see things that are not good, like scantily dressed women. That is unavoidable in this society. However, the look is different from the see in that “looking” is a choice, whereas “seeing” is not. Jesus said in (Matt. 5:48) that for a man to “look”….. By the way, it is just as sinful for a woman to dress in a way that gives the world something to “look” at in the first place. (Prov. 7:10 ) This is why Paul told Timothy to “Flee also youthful lusts” in ( 2 Tim. 2:22 ). Sexual attraction is a natural thing, even in the animal world, but only man is under the command of God in being under God’s control. God has placed limitations on mankind in that area as well as others. For example, in Romans 1:31, Col. 3:5 and 2 Tim. 3:3 all mention affection… “without natural affection”, “inordinate affection” and “without natural affection.” There is such a thing as “Natural affection” but it is commanded to be controlled and confined.

Now, I have been directly and indirectly involved in trying to reconcile some families and help some people with this problem and the problems it creates in families and in individual lives. Just recently, I have been involved in trying to help two men, not members of my Church, who were introduced to pornography at young ages…one 11 years old and one 13 years old. They both were in agony and wanted to be free, both professing Christians. Now understand, it is impossible for a Christian man to look at pornography without being convicted by the Holy Spirit. If you claim you are saved, yet not convicted in your heart about your looking, you are calling God a liar. John 16:8-11.

I know of several situations recently where the parents of the young man hooked on pornography thought the cure was for him to get married. They were so excited that now he would have a wife and would not need the habit…and were they all so wrong! He is like “The dog that is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.” 2 Peter 2:22.

Now, no doubt, there are men who have won over the lust for the look, but, we must understand it is a Spiritual battle, not a physical battle. This is why the marriage to a young lady did not solve the problem. Please do not misapply 1 Cor. 7:2 Marriage does not solve the problem of pornography, rather it removes the opportunity for a young couple in love from committing fornication, (premarital sex). See verse 9, “but if they cannot contain (the desire for sex) , let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” “Burn” there means to burn in lust for intimacy. Now look at Proverbs 6:20-35 but take particular notice of vss. 27-28, “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?”

Sirs, looking at pornography is like taking fire in your bosom, and you will get burned. First and foremost, it offends God. It also fuels the desire for more and more until you are so deep, you do things you never dreamed. I have found from my counseling that there can be a point of crossover into the “unnatural” areas described in Romans 1 and elsewhere. Maybe you are thinking “Me? Never!” I hate to tell you this, but you are deceived. The longer you stay on the hot coals, the more you burn and the further you go. TURN AROUND WHILE YOU CAN. THE TIME WILL COME WHEN YOU CANNOT!

Now, to subject of sexual perversion in youth and the result. Where is all this sexual molestation both of and by young people coming from? It is from the fire that first starts in the mind through the eyes and finishes in the most awful acts of sexual perversion. There is obviously a point of “defiled and dead conscience” that can do anything for the pleasure of a few moments, no matter the cost or harm to anyone. Look at 2 Peter 2:9-14 and especially v.14 “Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children.

If looking at pornography is natural, why does it produce so much unnatural behavior like rape, incest, fornication, adultery, sodomy, and on top of that, the most heinous crimes against their victims? Listen, the rape and murder of innocent people, including infant children to old people, can be traced to the very first “look” that fueled the fire in the bosom that eventually led to the crime itself. They become, “Brute beasts (animal) , made to be taken and destroyed.” 2 Peter 2:12

Now the warning: If you are hooked on pornography and you do not win over this unGodly habit, you cannot imagine what you will become, what you will do, and what you will pay before your sin is finished.

James 1:13-16 “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God, for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth He any man: But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.”

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